Honoring Our Narratives, Part 1

The Asian American Family in the Asian American Church

Apr 25, 2025

Promotional image for *Everything Everywhere All At Once* / A24

By Evangeline Hsieh, a Doctoral Candidate at Widener University’s Institute for Graduate Clinical Psychology.

This article is adapted from the author’s doctoral dissertation. It reflects revised and condensed arguments developed in the course of that research.

In the past several years, the complexity of the Asian American experience has been depicted in a myriad of movies, television shows, and media content, illuminating the many tensions, relationship problems, and questions that Asian Americans experience as they grow up in North America. In Disney’s Turning Red, a Chinese Canadian girl experiences puberty, developing her multicultural identity through navigating Western culture while trying to fulfill the expectations of Asian immigrant parents. Similarly, in Everything, Everywhere, All at Once, a Chinese immigrant mother navigates divorce, a failing business, and a resentful daughter who does not understand her parents’ experience of migration and seeks her mother’s understanding as well. In both stories, the second-generation daughter has difficulty understanding her parents. She does not want or comprehend the pressure that her parents put upon her. The parents’ expectations of these young girls seem to stem from the culture and values that they brought with them from their home country. The daughters, who grew up in North America, seem to want to experience and live by the cultural values of the West. By the end of both movies, the parents and daughters seem to come to an understanding of each other’s expectations and values, helping them to resolve the tension in their relationships. Both stories illustrate the complexity of bicultural straddling, migration, and relationships in Asian American families.

Both movies emphasize the importance of the experience and decision-making that one’s parents and grandparents utilized and how these experiences and decisions can impact the lives of the family for generations to come. In Turning Red the protagonist’s great-grandmother’s ability to turn into a red panda after puberty served as a defense mechanism during a period of war. For the protagonist, the panda no longer serves as protection; rather, it becomes a nuisance. Likewise, in Everything, Everywhere, All at Once, the mother’s decision to move to the United States and obey her father impacted her relationship with her second-generation daughter. Thus, it seems that the experiences of the parents and grandparents have, as well as their identity variables, can greatly impact the next generation’s perception of the world.

As the daughter of a first-generation Taiwanese American, I had difficulty understanding why my mother thought differently than I did. My mother would often talk about her experiences growing up in Taiwan as well as her experiences when she immigrated to the United States for college. I understood that this was all part of her story and who she has become, but I did not realize that all of that impacted how she parented my brother and me as well as her relationship with God.

For many second-generation children like me, our sense of self is differentially impacted by racialized experiences, making many of us long to be “more American.”1 Being “American” to many means achieving the American Dream, and for Asian Americans, achieving this dream often seems to mean acculturating and leaving behind the cultural influences of their heritage. Growing up, I only talked about my Taiwanese heritage at home and maybe to my closest friends. There was a sense that if I were to fit in at school, I should not speak too much about my Taiwanese self so that I could be perceived as American as possible. This was the influence of an internalized Model Minority Myth, which led me to feel this incredible tension between my Taiwanese and American cultures. Research on this has found that this internalization can lead to decreased social interaction, ultimately resulting in a higher risk of mental health issues.2

The internalization of the Model Minority Myth creates this desire to be as “perfect” as possible, which even impacts how we approach our relationship with God. To be a “perfect” or “good” American may mean practicing Christianity in a way that aligns with what American Christianity looks like. Most churches in the U.S. do not include any cultural practices from other countries, and many second-generation Asian American Christians have felt that the inclusion of ethnic and cultural practices in Christian services deters congregants from being “good” Christians.3 As a result, many second- and third-generation Asian Americans will leave immigrant churches for evangelical and predominantly white churches; it makes them feel that they can be better Christians and become more American. For others, like me, predominantly white churches allow them to find community in new ways than in some immigrant churches (which typically comprise of the older generation). The thinking seems to be that by going to a predominantly white church, our faith would be culture-free and thus, make us “better” Christians and “more American.”4

For many second-generation children like me, our sense of self is differentially impacted by racialized experiences, making many of us long to be “more American.” Being “American” to many means achieving the American Dream, and for Asian Americans, achieving this dream often seems to mean acculturating and leaving behind the cultural influences of their heritage.

What many fail to realize is that predominantly white and multiethnic churches are not necessarily culture-free, nor are they multicultural; many of these churches’ dominant cultural expression is that of white evangelicalism.5 Unfortunately, this makes the church another institution that reinforces the Model Minority, maintains white privilege, preserves an ethnic hierarchy, and complies with the racialized identity of Asian Americans.6 Although some second- and third-generation Asian Americans left the Asian immigrant church to escape the dissonance of their identities and unfortunately perpetuate the Model Minority Myth, many have reported feeling like something is still missing from their faith walk.7 I began to feel this dissonance myself as I completed my undergraduate studies.

During undergrad, I was involved with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship (IV), participating in worship teams, summer justice programs, and leadership. Throughout my time in IV, I was challenged to think about my identity as a Christian, not just as an American, but also as a person of color. Before college, I assumed that my identity in Christ was completely separate from my identity as a Taiwanese American. When I would tell my testimony to friends in IV, I do not think I ever really thought about the influence of Taiwanese culture on how I came to know God. However, as I was wrestling with where God wanted me to be vocationally, I realized that many of my decisions were strongly influenced by not only what my parents wanted for me but what I felt would honor their hard work and sacrifice.

The decision to drop out of the pre-med track and to pursue psychology created incredible tension between my parents, who felt that I could succeed in medical school and thought that I should listen to them because they felt it would be best for me. This was an example of how filial piety, or the deep respect of parents and elders, truly impacted how I made decisions about my schooling and career. I wondered a lot about how I was to follow God’s calling for me while respecting and honoring the wisdom of my parents. My experience is not unique, as I have heard stories of similar experiences among my peers. However, this is just one example of how the younger generation may feel the tension between the two cultures they live in.

This can further create dissonance and tension between the generations, which can lead to more difficulties for the church as well as the Asian American family to talk about mental health and how this then impacts their relationships with each other. The racialized identity and the subsequent impact of the Model Minority Myth that is imposed on Asian Americans creates this idea that there is one way to be Christian or even that there is one way to be American. This can lead families to misunderstand or even ignore parts of each other’s experiences, intensifying the dissonance between them. This, along with the stigma that mental health has in many Asian cultures, makes it feel nearly impossible to have conversations about mental health and the impact it can have on relationships within the family.

In order to decrease this stigma and to alleviate the tension that is felt by the family, it would be vital for churches and their leaders to consider the impact of migration, racialization, culture, and history on how their congregants view the world. Additionally, it would be essential to begin having conversations about these factors changes each person’s thinking and behavior. We need to recognize these experiences in ourselves and how they shape us so that we can address the suffering that we and our fellow brothers and sisters are experiencing. Otherwise, we are holding tension in ways that push us away from community and away from being able to be fully the people God created us to be.

Years after I decided to pursue psychology rather than medicine, my family and I have come to a better understanding of each of our perspectives of the world and why it led to the decisions we made. It took a lot of time and the willingness of both parties to listen, empathize, and accept that we are different because of our differing experiences of migration, acculturation, and racialization. With this, I was better able to understand them and love them better. As a result, I saw how these factors also impacted my walk with Christ. Ultimately, not examining the factors that influenced me and my parents’ stories made it feel impossible for me to truly understand and empathize with them. When I opened my heart to receive the stories of their childhoods and of their experiences in Taiwan and of migration, I began to understand them better, allowing me to form deeper relationships with them and with God.

Honoring Our Narratives, Part 1

The Asian American Family in the Asian American Church

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